We went to ASHIYA-SAZOUTEN.
Many sand sculptures that make us think “Are they really made of sand?” are on display at the event.
These works of art were amazing,
however, they got even better when illuminated.
There was a space for children to play with sand, and also was a large park in the immediate vicinity.
I recommend this place to families with children.
「あしや砂像展」に行ってきた。
「これ本当に砂で出来てるの?」と思ってしまうような、凄い砂像が立ち並ぶ、何やら面白いイベント。
素の状態でも凄いけど、ライトアップした後の状態がさらに凄い。
子どもが砂で遊ぶスペースがあったり、すぐそこに大きな公園があったりと、子ども連れの家族にもオススメ。
校閲の内容
(修正前)
sand statues
→ sand sculptures(”statue sculpture 違い” などで検索してみて、合うほうを使ってくださいね)
Many sand statues that make we think “Is it really made of sand?” are on display at the event.
make we → make us
Is it → Are they
These art of works are amazing,
→ These works of art were amazing, 語順が気になったのと、続く文が過去形なので統一
however it became even better when these were illuminated.
→ 主語の単複が入り混じるのと、these が単独で主語になるのは「これらは○○です」くらいなので、however, they got even better when illuminated.
There was a space for children to play with sand, and There was a large park in the immediate vicinity.
and There → and also, there 似た表現が続くので also はいかがでしょうか(あと there 小文字)
I recommend for families with children.
recommend for families → recommend this place to families
相変わらず、凄まじい量の添削。。。
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